Monday, November 21, 2005

Sanitized for My Protection

I have this wooly, natty, ratty, rusty brown and black sweater that I have worn for what seems like forever. It is a cardigan but only one button remains at the top. It is full of holes that I just don't seem to notice. I put it on over my sweater and it makes a great little coat pared with my moth ridden scarf.

It has walked with me through some rough and happy times in life. I just cling to it. I think it may be my security blanket. Like Linus, I just can't seem to survive without it in the fall, winter and early spring. Nothing else is quite so me. So comfortable.

Earlier this fall my mother ordered me to remove it so she could burn it. She said, "Ms.Mamma, take that nasty thing off! It weighs you down and today is a new day!" I had the look of sheer horror on my face... "No way!" I gasped like a scared little kid. How dare she try and take my woobie from me! I just couldn't part with it. I wear it everyday.

She was shocked to know that the manager of a store commented on it. She beamed how she just LOVED MY SWEATER! I couldn't believe it. I actually laughed in her face and said, "You've gotta be kidding?! My mom thinks I should cremate it!" Then I think...hmmmm is she just doing a little ass kissing or does she dig it? I decided she dug it it because it IS the coolest old sweater around.

I went about my favorite day as usual. Sundays just have such a luxurious feel to me. I went to my neighbor's to borrow something and we chatted for a while. They have these two adorable teensie weensie puppy dogs. Being the canine lover I am I scooped up Louie the supposed Pomeranian with gusto for a nice little rub. His "carnie" owners claimed the pup to be purebred, but he turned out to look more like a Spitz. He is a great tenacious lover. So spunky he defies his amped up bark collar. He actually wore/burned the hair off of his throat. He doesn't care. You can hear him rousing the neighborhood every morn', as it should be. He is a true dog and I love him.

Fed Ex is a chihuaha-jack russel terrier mix. He is drop dead sexy in his couture polar fleece and custom leather and dog bone charm collar. He is a gorgeous red color with a black mask. You just want to eat this dog up when you see him. He has one big problem though. He is a submissive.

He didn't want me to pick him up but when he saw the love Lou was getting, he changed his mind. Well, I pick him up and we're just happy as clams. After a conversation about how he peed on her brother the last time they were together, I said "Really! He didn't pee on me!"

WRONG!

I walked into my house and The Chidler just zoned in on my left side, where I was holding the wizzer. Yes, I did not escape as I thought. Feeling my security blanket I skim over the pee soaked wool. Ugh! YUCKIES! I whip it off and have flash backs to my mother and I think maybe it is time, maybe this is a signal that I should just sentence it to the dumpster once and for all.

I have to say it came out really nice after a good washing. It removed years of debris and it is actually a little fluffy now. I think I might throw it away tommorrow. Probably not.

It's almost like new.


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